He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
