i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
