dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
