Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
