U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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