apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
