woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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