I just pynch a tree in the face
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
