she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
