You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
