I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize