and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize