i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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