Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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