So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We are all done wearing pants today
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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