we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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