1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
