Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
