Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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