About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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