You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
