9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize