you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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