glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
