Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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