What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
