dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
