Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Porn is love you can see.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
