Tell her she can't have a vagina
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is Oprah even human
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
