JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
