My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
