You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize