what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
