So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
