if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
