I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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