i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
