my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
