Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
