I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
