She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
COCAINE IS GR8
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize