I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
