Slut skills are useful in every country.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
