Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
