If that was your dad, he is hot
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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