We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
