Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
