also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
