Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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