I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
