Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
