So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
