your parents love me but you hate me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
