Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
