Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
try to milk me bitch
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
