The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
