I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
