Kiss
Puke
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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