His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just made out with a guy for $7.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
