Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
