you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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