I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
