"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
