My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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