so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
