You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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