1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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