i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
