if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
