im about as happy as oj after his trial
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
