do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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