After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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