3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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