Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize