Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize