I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I need to align my fucking chakras
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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